Comments on: Sorry is not the final word, just the beginning

By: سیاره مدیریت پروژه فارسی » Blog Archive » What Do Leaders Think When They Make a Mistake?

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:13:50 +0000

[...] while back Lisa Winter wrote a terrific blog about what leaders say when they make a mistake . . . “I’m sorry.” Her blog prompted me to explore a question. What do leaders think when [...]

By: Anuradha (Anu) Subramanian

Anuradha (Anu) Subramanian — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 14:45:50 +0000

Sandra, I remember when I faced this kind of situation I didn’t ask for an apology, but I did tell the person involved that what they did was “not cool”. I think it’s best to talk about this kind of this as openly as possible (without offending anyone) and get it out of the way. It helps clear the air. I got an apology out of it, but there’s no guarantee of that.

By: Sandra

Sandra — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 14:50:28 +0000

I don’t have a problem with apologizing as much as I do with asking for an apology from someone. I end up feeling resentful and I suspect that they’re just oblivious to the idea that they might owe me an apology. Do you ask?

By: Anuradha (Anu) Subramanian

Anuradha (Anu) Subramanian — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 21:00:43 +0000

What a wonderful post ! I’d like to point out that project leaders set an example when they step down from their pedestals and reach out in this manner. Besides being the right thing to do, it sets the right tone for the project team. It inspires others to treat each other with respect.

By: Veronica Brown

Veronica Brown — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 08:36:27 +0000

Great post, Saying sorry takes courage. I have not always had the guts to do that. Your post is inspirational. Thanks for sharing.

By: Raj Menon

Raj Menon — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 20:51:55 +0000

Hey Lisa,

Thanks for sharing your story. Apologies are very powerful when it does not stop at merely a sorry. We need to be willing to make an effort to set things right. Everyone makes mistakes but not all realize or accept that they do. That is the first step.

Actually, I was surprised when I read this post as I have written a similar piece on The Power of Apologies on my site the day before. Pls do read it at http://lap31.com/flyer/apologize and drop in your feedback + spread the word. I hope our 2 posts reach out to a larger audience.

-Raj

By: Links for June 14 2009 | Eric D. Brown - Technology, Strategy, People & Projects

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 14:21:17 +0000

[...] Sorry is not the final word, just the beginning by Lisa Winter on UCSC Extension in Silicon Valley [...]

By: Kimberly Wiefling

Kimberly Wiefling — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 01:47:39 +0000

Lisa, your blog has inspired me to apologize for a mistake I was tempted to sweep under the rug. I’ll have a chance to do that tomorrow in Osaka. Thanks for the reminder to accept and deal with our imperfections as human beings and “make it right” when we mess up. – Scrappy Kimberly

By: Lisa Winter

Lisa Winter — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 19:21:13 +0000

Hi Woody,

Thanks for this comment.

A little background – The company mentioned in this post has data centers and offices scattered all over the country, and it is common practice for people to work together for years, and never meet each other face to face. Most, if not all of the collaboration takes place on the phone, NetMeeting, or some other enterprise collaboration tool. In fact, some of the Development is done overseas in India, so meeting in person is not always an option.

At the beginning of projects, I always make an effort to meet as many of my project team members in person as much as possible; it may be subtle, but I believe that it helps things run more smoothly over time.

In the case of meeting Sam face to face, both of us knew enough about the environment that we should try to resolve any conflicts between us without escalation, or involving other people. I could have gone to his manager, but honestly, what good does that do? In general, the feelings just get intensified (and not in a good way) and it does not create the kind of synergy/collaboration that we all hope to find on projects.

I actually rescheduled my trip to AZ to meet with Sam, once he agreed. It was that important to me, that we work things out. And I think he was impressed that I would take the time to meet with him, since other people faced with this situation may not have.

I guess I was just lucky that he wasn’t located overseas:)

People skills are the most critical element for project managers – period.

My thanks to everyone for their feedback! Really appreciate your comments.

By: Dina Garfinkel

Dina Garfinkel — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 19:17:23 +0000

Great story! Yes, I agree with the comments above that we can all relate to an experience like this. This reminds me of something I’ve been thinking about lately that it is the project manager’s role to be the ‘adult’ in the situation. Among other things, this means that you can’t be afraid to admit when you’re wrong or apologize for something. I’m sure we all have worked for childish people at one time or another, and it’s our job to take the high road.