Paul Konasewich

Originally posted on ConnectLeadership.com
I was on a ropes course, 30 feet in the air, trying to walk across a log. And I was scared. My legs weren’t cooperating. After at least 10 minutes of struggle, I decided to try a novel approach…

Technorati Tags: facing-challenge

Originally posted on ConnectLeadership.com
Humor is a great vehicle for teaching. In this amusing talk, I go over tips on how to *not* became a leader.
I think what makes a paradoxical talk work is that it helps people relax, focus, and see themselves in my tips on what to not do.

Technorati Tags: Leadership

Originally posted on ConnectLeadership.com
In this video I introduce research showing the benefits of 3 everyday things you can do to increase your performance as a leader. With this knowledge, you’ll be more likely to do these things.

Technorati Tags: performance, productivity

Originally posted on ConnectLeadership.com
I had a chance to give a short talk on the parallels, and what Tango has taught me about leading people.

Technorati Tags: Leadership

Originally posted on ConnectLeadership.com
A key employee on my team says that he’s unhappy and wants to leave. Should I apologize? Should I try to placate him? What should I do?

Technorati Tags: communication, Conflict

How many times have you read a book, or gone to a workshop and said “yes, this is useful, I’m going to do this” and then found that, well, nothing happened?
How to explain this? Too busy? Not motivated enough? Sure, those things may play a role, but I think there’s something deeper going on [...]

One of the most fundamental things that anyone can do for their leadership skills is basic: figure out how to feel great, day after day.
This is the stuff of peak performance athletes, and with books like The Corporate Athlete and The Power of Full Engagement these ideas are being used in companies, too.
It seems basic [...]

Today it is critical that we talk about impact. I’ve introduced a number of ideas this week, and there are more coming this weekend. But let’s face it: reading about ideas never changed anything. The impact comes from taking an idea, testing it out, and seeing if there is a way to get value from [...]

We weren’t built for this. “This” being a life in which we are constantly in a stress response. That is my key take away from a fascinating book by MacArthur “Genius” Fellow Robert Sapolsky.
In Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers Sapolsky writes that we aren’t built to withstand constant, high levels of stress. And that our [...]

Life has a funny way of working. Today I knew that I would be writing about a paradoxical way of leading under pressure. And sure enough, an opportunity arose this afternoon for me to apply this technique.
Here’s what happened. I am in a monthly professional development program with a class of 30 people. We are [...]

Ideally, before you find yourself in the hot seat, you’ll have had some time to prepare and condition. But what if you find yourself in a pressure situation, and aren’t prepared for it? Here are several things I’ve found that help.

Technorati Tags: Leadership, psychology

What do you do to support yourself, to help you work well, be an effective leader, under pressure?
Being a leader can be stressful. Very stressful. There’s a lot going on, a lot of responsibility. Competitive threats. Murphy’s Law. Personal conflicts. This isn’t going to change, so the question is “what can I, as a leader, [...]

Imagine this: it’s Monday, and a co-worker had a rough weekend with his family. He wants to talk about it. What to do?
On the one hand, I want to help out. I mean I’ve been there, I’ve had my tough times, and it’s nice when I’ve had someone to talk with. Not for hours, just [...]

Here’s another question about “Stepping into Emotional Pressure.”
Q. In your story, you never mentioned specifics on the issues that you and Don were in disagreement about. Why not?
A. Have you ever faced a situation where the issues came up one after another, and seemed to never end? Just as you solve the current “high pain” [...]

The following question came from a thoughtful viewer of the “Stepping into Emotional Pressure” video:
Q. Alright, so you got clear on how YOU wanted to work, and communicated that to Don. How is that different from giving him an ultimatum?
A. At the broadest level I agree that yes I presented an ultimatum, albeit one having special [...]

Don was surprised. He seemed to be expecting me to say something different. My guess is that he thought I’d go to any lengths to keep him on the team. For a while he said nothing.
Finally he responded: “It’s true, you can’t change what happened with the old manager. It’s not like I’m about to [...]

Now that I was clear on where I stood with regards to not just leadership in general, but the dynamic with “Don” in particular, I was ready to move forward.
Here’s where it gets tricky. I may be very clear on where I stand and what I want, but I have no control over what the [...]

To recap, “Don” came in to talk to me about his project. But he walked in angry, saying he’s thinking of quitting, and I was caught off guard. I was dazed, but within a few minutes I regained my composure and was ready for the next stage of stepping into emotional pressure.
In any relationship there [...]

Emotional pressure often comes right out of the blue. And when it does, it can be very hard to deal with.       
On the day that I was meeting with “Don,” a new team member to talk about his initial project, I was blindsided by the pressure that he came at me with. And I’ve noticed that [...]

Some time ago I was managing a team at a small company, when I faced a challenge with a talented employee. “Don” had just been assigned to my team, and we were meeting to discuss next steps for his initial project. I wasn’t prepared for what came next.             
Within a couple of minutes, Don’s anger at [...]

Smartly building trust is a key activity for successful collaboration. There is a lot of complexity involved in working successfully with others. And fortunately there are specific practices which can get you much better results. Here’s what works for me.
1. Build connection through a “hearing and being heard” process.
2. Commit to clarity, in yourself and [...]