3rd Degree Burns on 95% of the Body

One of the biggest mistakes I made as a novice project manager was burning bridges that I would later need to walk across. Heck, I was a friggin’ arsonist! If someone on my team didn’t do their action item, I’d chew their ass and then came back and do it again before it even had a chance to grow back. If the quality engineer gave me any lip about not having an environmental test chamber available to heat, cool, and otherwise torture to death my $100,000 one-of-a-kind prototype, I’d make sure his boss knew that this small-thinking Neanderthal needed to learn how to use the telephone book (yes, I am THAT old that I remember telephone books!) in order to find a place to rent test chamber time. And if the manufacturing manager, in charge of hundreds of people, wasn’t on schedule getting the manufacturing line set up for the imminent pilot production run, I’d lob a public-embarrassment napalm bomb at him in the next project review meeting in front of the other executives. Naturally my feet got pretty scorched walking over the flaming hot coals of the bridges that I burned as I came to need the cooperation of these unfortunate souls at some future date. (more…)

Self-induced Insanity

More self-inflicted project wounds . . .

Some project managers seem to think that projects should proceed in a sensible and reasonable fashion, enjoying the cooperation and support of executives, team members, vendors and customers. Not so! Team members are put on this earth to ignore voice mails, email and action item due dates. Executives are on the planet to consistently demand impossible schedules with inadequate resources. Vendors exist to provide defective parts and an unresponsive corrective action process. And customers live to churn out nebulous requirements that they will change faster than the speed of progress on the project. But when these blisters erupt on the butts of their projects, some project managers let such things undermine their good mental health, torturing themselves with thoughts of how terrific the project would be if it weren’t for these problems. (more…)

Don’t Put Your “I” Out!

Project managers can’t afford to be overly timid or self-effacing. They must be self-assured and determined in order to be successful leaders. However this sometimes leads to one of the most ghastly self-inflicted wounds of project management, that is the project leader who hasn’t yet learned to use “we” and avoid the word “I” in conversations. As a young and foolish project manager I persisted in referring to MY project, MY team, what I was doing, and how important I was to the future of the project. While I’m sure I sounded like a self-important boob, I was under the illusion that this behavior sprung from my total and passionate commitment to project success. It was only after my very dear friend took me aside and pointed out how arrogant I appeared that I started to shift my vocabulary in a more inclusive direction. (more…)

Self-inflicted Project Wounds

There is a group of forensic chemists who gather periodically for something called “The Bite-mark Breakfast”, where they are treated to a slide show of various bite marks which they attempt to identify while enjoying their eggs, sausage and toast. (This popped into my head this morning as I was feeding my cat. She was in a nasty mood, and I made the mistake of picking her up to give her a little rub before heading off for a 3 week business trip.) In this same vein (pun intended!) I thought it would be fun to take a spirited look at the wounds incurred by projects, in particular those of the self-inflicted kind. While there are endless challenges rained down upon a project, the most regrettable are those we bring upon ourselves. These acts of self-mutilation and attempted suicide are largely avoidable, and it’s a pity to have any hard-working team suffer the consequences of such behavior on the part of a project leader.

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“Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

Imagine this: it’s Monday, and a co-worker had a rough weekend with his family. He wants to talk about it. What to do?

On the one hand, I want to help out. I mean I’ve been there, I’ve had my tough times, and it’s nice when I’ve had someone to talk with. Not for hours, just long enough to get something off my chest.

But on the other hand, being a listener can be frustrating. I mean I try to be really helpful, I listen, I think about  the  problems, I give suggestions, but he doesn’t seem to be paying attention—he just keeps talking. Or he gets annoyed. And I’m thinking, “Why did you come ask me, if you didn’t want help?”

Let’s face it—we’re all likely to find ourselves on one side or the other of this conversation at some point. The next time you find yourself on the “listener” side, what do you do?

Try Supportive Listening. Eran Magen and I have created a simple and powerful method of listening that gives great support, while being “real” in a way that doesn’t leave the speaker saying “is there an echo in here?” Our next free workshop is coming up March 8^th—feel free to join us.

Paul Konasewich
Supportive Listening

© 2008 Paul Konasewich

The POO Code, Epilog

The “secret” code to success and advancement in any organization is to make yourself more valuable, align with organizational goals, attract like minded individuals who want to make a difference, and take the initiative.

Several recent indicators support this path. (more…)